Being single is an aura!

I went through elementary, middle, and high school without legitimate feelings for anyone. I focused on finding a way to live my truth rather than worrying about whether a guy liked me. It was much easier when I was younger because most of my friends were single. I had people I could relate to and never felt lonely because my girls always stuck by me. Not being in a relationship was normal because I was just a kid then.

I wasn't the best-looking teenager, but I was also never ugly. I had a way about myself that couldn't be rivaled, and, in turn, I felt secure enough not to let the reality of being single faze me. By the time I went to college, my best friends had already begun and ended various relationships with boys who significantly impacted their lives, and I started to feel left out.

My love life during university was bizarre. Many times, I deluded myself into thinking the perfect relationship would magically find me, and then I graduated college, only experiencing heartbreak and risky sexual encounters with men.

When you reach a certain age, you want to know what love feels like, or at least I did.

Around the time I started my first real job, I reflected on my love life and my expectations for it. At 18 years old, I felt an overwhelming pressure to be in a relationship as I grew up and witnessed my peers fall in love and even start families! The desire to have a boyfriend and finally be able to relate to my friends was consuming. I would express how not being appealing to the male gaze deteriorated my confidence and made me feel ugly, but they never understood where I was coming from. After all, they were very pretty and never struggled with being alone for too long. Even when my girls were single, there was always a guy in the mix.

The uncertainty didn't last long because I had great family and friends who guided me through those weird phases of solitude. I don't have parents who are pushy about dating, given the assumption that meeting a boyfriend of mine would make them uncomfortable, which helps. I'm sure they'll support my partner and me when it comes to it, but I have to be sure he's someone worth introducing to my loved ones.

When I began to work on myself, I realized that doubt repels good things. You will only meet the love of your life, find a great job, or succeed if you're confident in your ability to make things happen.

I have yet to understand why my early college years were filled with a burning desire to be with someone. However, not having a significant other made me appreciate my friendships, which is very important even when you are taken. Having fun with people around you makes one embrace being single much better. I am okay with the mistakes I've made regarding my love life because you can only perfect something if you've messed it up once before.

I'm happy not being as pessimistic about dating as I used to be. I've learned it's more about having fun and learning about yourself than finding solace in social status. I've accepted that meeting a potential love interest doesn't need to have an end goal. You shouldn't have a "maybe this will be the one" mindset because you're already projecting your expectations onto someone who may not meet them. It's so much better to be pleasantly surprised than utterly disappointed!

Yours truly, <3

David